Let's Vote Again!

Now that the elections are over we can return to normal. McCain, Palin, and Tina Fey can all finally go back to their day jobs. And as the Chimes oldest living writer, I can sit back and reflect on this year's election (before I forget what I was writing about).

I’ve voted in 3 US elections and was an international observer for1 Guatemalan presidential election. And through it all I’ve made a few observations.

1. We live in a great country. There weren’t nearly as many candidates assassinated in our election as there was in the Guatemalan (although they did have more exciting riots than our wimpy little protests).
2. The US election has consistently and accurately been predicted by the 7-eleven (a Japanese owned company) coffee cup voting system
3. CNN’s hologram interviews + a black president = The arrival of a bright new future were anything is possible and anyone can be president except for women or the elderly.

In addition to these observations, I have also conducted a few informal exit polls. For instance 4 years ago, it was election day in astronomy class at Kent State University in Kent, Ohio. And even though our prof tried to subdue the mood, everybody was still wound up. Some kid took a poll by show of hands how many people voted for each candidate. Bush won but both God and Ronald Reagan received strong showings in our class. (its a pretty diverse class).

This year, however, I was working at a Christian elementary school where all the students had the chance to vote in their own mock election. 87% of kindergartners voted for Obama, However, 80% of 1st graders voted for McCain (apparently they place a higher value on age and experience rather than the youth and energy that attracted the 5 year-olds). When discussing the election with the second graders, they asked me who I voted for, I told them that I had voted for Graham (one of the second graders). Madison then informed me that I should have voted for her because “I know what 16+16 is… it’s 32!” Graham quickly retaliated with “Oh yeah? Well I know what 60 divided by 3 is… its 20! WORD!” Madison quietly conceded and I knew that I had made the right choice to lead our nation for the next 4 years.

So as the party begins to wind down, let’s all sit back and reflect on what a great ride it was. And remember, whether your candidate won or lost, we should all be thankful that we aren’t godless communists or Canadians. Heaven forbid either one of them should gets their hands on CNN’s hologram technology, All that stands between us and the end of the world as we know it is Wolf Blitzer’s beard.