Lights, Libby Lu, and Licence Plates

Why is the Chimes doing a special Automobile edition? Because Los Angeles has a “culture of cars.” It has been even more congested on the freeways since the housing crisis, because now that people can’t afford homes they just leave work and drive around until it’s time to go back.

I have to admit that I spend a lot of time in my car as well. And that’s why I am excited about the way in which my car has been getting into the holiday spirit by decorating its own dashboard with a festive array of lights. This year it is featuring an impressive display of “check engine, check oil, and gas lights. I sometimes leave my seatbelt off and turn on the turn signal just so I can have enough light to read a road map by at night. While I personally prefer a “check engine” free Christmas, I’m not one to stand in the way of a little Yuletide cheer. I’m just thankful there aren’t any “car needs washed” or “do your homework” lights otherwise I wouldn’t be able to see the road.

But when it comes to the automobile industry there are few topics as interesting to me as my own car. Or more specifically, how it will affect my ability to pick up chicks. So I decided to conduct a little research. The first and only stop the research train made was at cartalk.com. For those of you unfamiliar with the brilliantly funny NPR radio show, two mechanics who happen to be brothers have a weekly radio program where anyone can call them up with a car related problem. Due to the humorous nature of the show, the calls range from “what does it mean when my car sounds like reewowreewow?”, to “how do I keep my wife from putting 9,000 extra dangly things on her keychain when she only has two keys?”

But more importantly they had rankings on the top 10 gay guy cars and top 5 chick cars. Unfortunately my car ranked in both. In the gay category it was #9 with the caption “no need to slap a rainbow sticker on that baby. The car did all the talking for me.” And in the chick car category, my poor little Cabrio was a #2. “All teen-age girls classify them as cute. 'Nuff said." Apparently I’m not exactly on the highway to the danger zone, like I previously thought. That's the last time I'll ever buy a car at Libby Lu's.

Fortunately they also had automobile pick up lines so I could redeem myself. My favorite was: “Do you believe in love at first sight? If not, would you mind waiting here while I drive around the block?”

Anyways, the light is about to turn green and its almost time for me to go back to work. Plus I think that gas light isn’t kidding around this time.