#3

#3

Now that you’ve managed to determine if you happen to contracted to this person under familial obligations, it’s time to ask the last and most important question in understanding the nature of your prospective Holiday victim; are they a boy or a girl.

You might think that this is too obvious to even mention, but I’m pretty sure that if you get any gifts this year that you don’t like it will be because of an infraction of one of the various forms of this rule. Whether its from giver who got you something that they wanted, or from a guy who has never been in another store that didn’t have a name ending in “Electronics” or “Sports,” or the girl who thought that knitting a reindeer gear shift cover for your truck was a “cute idea,” someone you know will fall victim to this on Christmas day.

So consult your family physician or sit patiently outside the restrooms, but do whatever you have to do to find out the correct answer. Once you do, and the screaming has died down, then we can move on…

If they didn’t wash their hands coming out of the restroom (male) go to #4

If they are completely offended at everything I just wrote and are busy saying “I am NOT like that” (female) go to #11