#8

Relatives are the ideal giftees. Possibly because they are traditionally willing to forgive you for whatever tacky gift you may have bought. Wal-Mart was built upon gifts for relatives, but heaven help the young man that purchases his girlfriend’s gift from the commercial giant. He will suddenly find himself with a shorter list of people to shop for next year. (See also #11)

But the real benefit of shopping for relatives is the fact that you can have other relatives cover for you. As I once mentioned in a Mother’s day piece, I usually call up my sister, and discuss what would be best to get a given relative. Whatever she suggests is fine with me, I tell her that I’ll pay her back later, and then have her sign my name below hers on the card. But this year since I’ll be home for Christmas, I’ll probably sign my own name on the card, above hers so it looks like the whole card thing was my idea.

This rule only applies to relatives that didn’t spring from your own personal loins. If you do happen to be morally and physically responsible for their existence then rest assured, you cannot possibly make them happy no matter how much money you spend. Unless of course, you happen to package the gift in a large cardboard box. This will afford you approximately 45 minutes of Christmas afternoon nap time.